I feel so many of us are under pressure to produce results, be the best and show something for our work. Whilst this is nice; sometimes it seems to have counter consequences- sometimes instead of driving people to strive for more, people begin to question whether or not they are talented or capable enough to unlock their horses potential.
I think if we have that sort of attitude, we then put ourselves in the frame of mind that we will never be adequate enough to produce any horses potential. Why do we feel like this? What is it that causes us to feel this way? Is it the militant youtube pages which seem to promote teens with these 'inspirational' stories of how they rose from rock bottom to the top with their horses, sometimes I wonder if they are using their description as a pair of rose tinted glasses to fool the many gullible followers; whilst it is admirable that they persevered etc; they also make some of us feel like we're incapable, if our horses or more so ourselves, struggle to 'produce' we have failed and wasted our horses talent. I feel this is unfair because does your horse really care whether or not he's got a bloody rosette attached to his bridle? Or whether he's the county champion or the trailblazer champion or whatever you want him to be? Does he? Or is it us who wants that? Like the pushy parent who thinks their child at the age of 2 wants to be a beauty queen and wear high heeled and more make up than Katie Price.
I think that this is so sad, that we feel inclined to behave in this way. Once we begin to pressure ourselves, we pressure our horses, sometimes this can have bad reactions- especially if we are struggling already. I know this full too well, when I expect too much and I push us both into overload when we both explode- whether it is through fear, anger, confusion or a combination of it all.
We want to enjoy our horses yes and we don't want to be unhappy in our lives, but equally we don't want to make ourselves feel inadequate and incapable because we aren't producing in the show ring- so what? Have something else to show- small achievements, small steps which all add up to make big steps, and a long lasting relationship with the most nobel, loyal and gifted animal ever to walk the planet. Accept his flaws, work on them and work on yours; accept that he may not be winning in all the comps or even going to any, but that he's the most wonderful thing you have encountered and you have him to yourself to enjoy and love.
Don't ever be made to feel little or that you need to give up. Be strong and take it slowly...
It's not the destination which counts; but the journey.
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Saturday 23 July 2011
Respect... but do both sides play fairly?
Something which is constantly drummed into us by professionals is to have our horse's respect. If he barges- it's disrespect. If he stomps, it's disrespect, if he bites, it's disrespect.
I had an incident the other day where I caused my horse to get very cross with me and she reared up on me in protest. It was scary and I said 'No' but it wasn't until afterward that I thought what did the no achieve but WHY did she rear. Well thanks to some fantastic advice it became clear her rear was through her anger with me and she was simply telling me to be a little clearer and more consistent. It's made me think now about consistency and frustration and linked into these behaviours which so many of us call 'disrespect' and being rude. It strikes me though, the lack of education which horses are exposed to, everyone seems to assume horses know the rules and if they don't 'are reminded' but how many of us spend time on these crucial rules; if we put them in place, and we get them usually, should we punish on the one day they may forget the rules or tell us we're doing something wrong? No, we shouldn't. I don't think it's fair to reprimand them for it; instead we should be bettering ourselves and being self-critical; instead of blaming our other equine half. For example, I'm sick and tired of the prejudice that each breed suffers; ''Oh he's naughty because he's a stubborn cob. He bolts because he's a TB/Arab'' I can't help but think, STOP MAKING EXCUSES! We make so many excuses to push the blame away from us and it's not fair and it's not right. If your horse refuses a jump; don't smack him, perhaps consider you've unbalanced him? Or perhaps he doesn't want to jump?
I feel we are told we have to instill respect into our horses, well all animals in general- horses are strong and yes dangerous, but they don't want to hurt us, unless scared of course; they respond on instinct and they are horses at the end of the day; they need to express themselves, instead of suppressing them with straps and gadgets. We talk very much on them respecting us; but do we respect them? Do we respect their right to an opinion- the moment they tell us they aren't happy through an evasion, they will get strapped up, ignored or told off; we usually excuse ourselves from it too... oh he's had all the checks... must be being naughty. Or your instructor says it's not you... well okay I'm going to be naughty here and say 90% of instructors don't even know what they are looking at, just regurgitating the letters of the arena and some sequences to ride... hardly anything special, are they? Or they are blinded by their own ignorance and cease to see the error of the rider.
So I've got a right bee in my bonnet over this and think this subject shouldn't be taken lightly. I think it's about time we start showing them some respect; it's like some horses don't want to jump really; so stop making them? They don't like it, so stop doing it. Just as you wouldn't want to do a certain thing, nor do our horses; it's not the bee all and end all of life. Start understanding his feelings and life from his perspective. How would you feel, having someone get on your back, tell you do these things and then demand your respect; yet fail to show you some in return?
I had an incident the other day where I caused my horse to get very cross with me and she reared up on me in protest. It was scary and I said 'No' but it wasn't until afterward that I thought what did the no achieve but WHY did she rear. Well thanks to some fantastic advice it became clear her rear was through her anger with me and she was simply telling me to be a little clearer and more consistent. It's made me think now about consistency and frustration and linked into these behaviours which so many of us call 'disrespect' and being rude. It strikes me though, the lack of education which horses are exposed to, everyone seems to assume horses know the rules and if they don't 'are reminded' but how many of us spend time on these crucial rules; if we put them in place, and we get them usually, should we punish on the one day they may forget the rules or tell us we're doing something wrong? No, we shouldn't. I don't think it's fair to reprimand them for it; instead we should be bettering ourselves and being self-critical; instead of blaming our other equine half. For example, I'm sick and tired of the prejudice that each breed suffers; ''Oh he's naughty because he's a stubborn cob. He bolts because he's a TB/Arab'' I can't help but think, STOP MAKING EXCUSES! We make so many excuses to push the blame away from us and it's not fair and it's not right. If your horse refuses a jump; don't smack him, perhaps consider you've unbalanced him? Or perhaps he doesn't want to jump?
I feel we are told we have to instill respect into our horses, well all animals in general- horses are strong and yes dangerous, but they don't want to hurt us, unless scared of course; they respond on instinct and they are horses at the end of the day; they need to express themselves, instead of suppressing them with straps and gadgets. We talk very much on them respecting us; but do we respect them? Do we respect their right to an opinion- the moment they tell us they aren't happy through an evasion, they will get strapped up, ignored or told off; we usually excuse ourselves from it too... oh he's had all the checks... must be being naughty. Or your instructor says it's not you... well okay I'm going to be naughty here and say 90% of instructors don't even know what they are looking at, just regurgitating the letters of the arena and some sequences to ride... hardly anything special, are they? Or they are blinded by their own ignorance and cease to see the error of the rider.
So I've got a right bee in my bonnet over this and think this subject shouldn't be taken lightly. I think it's about time we start showing them some respect; it's like some horses don't want to jump really; so stop making them? They don't like it, so stop doing it. Just as you wouldn't want to do a certain thing, nor do our horses; it's not the bee all and end all of life. Start understanding his feelings and life from his perspective. How would you feel, having someone get on your back, tell you do these things and then demand your respect; yet fail to show you some in return?
The Piebald Diaries- Summer 2011
Well this year has certainly turned out to be quite the opposite of what I'd planned, dreamed of and hoped; I sometimes ponder on whether things have worked out for the better; or whether I want things to go back to how it was.
Transport to see Shadow has always been the biggest barrier which has always been the biggest issue; but we coped, until we got the most unforeseeable news that our yard was closing down and we all had 3 months to find somewhere, this came as a blow and devastating as I wondered what the future would hold. To cut a long, and boring story short; Shadow got moved even further away from home and there was nothing I could seem to do; except offer to buy him which I can't afford. So I thought we'd cope, evidently we've struggled and I've only seen him 3 times since the beginning of June and to put it nicely; it's pretty shit.
Whilst I thought summer was over and I was pretty much horseless, something came along and certainly picked up the pieces... her name is B, and she's a wonderful, skewbald mare, who's also a baby, at just 4 years old. I was at first skeptical and wasn't sure whether or not I'd go through with it, but she's now been moved to the yard next to home and we're getting to know one another, my biggest problem is me at the moment; I think I've got so many emotions running high at the moment that I fail to see the bigger picture and appreciate how wonderful she really is. I compare her to Shadow and sometimes think she knows these things and then have to put myself back in line and tell myself to take it slowly, this isn't something which I've found easy and had to rely on some help from my friends on the clicker forum to guide me and advise me.
So I suppose life is turning out and taking a different route to what I anticipated. It's scary to think that in just over a month, I'll be in sixth form (hopefully!) doing my A-levels, my GCSE results are out in a month and I'm scared for that too. I hope that I can pull it off; we'll see. I'm wanting to make the most out of this summer, I'm 16 in just over a weeks time and I hopefully can get myself a job and earn some money. I'm scared though at what the future will hold :)
Something I've been learning, is that life is the most peculiar journey and most unpredictable thing; no matter how hard we plan and try to foresee, it doesn't always happen; the more we make plans and the more we 'prepare' ourselves for the future, the more likely we are to get hurt when it doesn't go quite so well. I'm not suggesting we 'never make plans' but I think it's dangerous to follow a set plan and do whatever we can to pursue it; sometimes it can lead to unhappiness and countering our gut instinct. Something about B made me want to follow it through and see her, and I must admit I adore her; Shadow is the most wonderful pony in the world for me and nothing will change that, but I have a new challenge and a new path which I've been put onto, I want to see the optimism in this and enjoy every second, as we never know what may be around the corner, and will spend the rest of our lives regretting it.
Transport to see Shadow has always been the biggest barrier which has always been the biggest issue; but we coped, until we got the most unforeseeable news that our yard was closing down and we all had 3 months to find somewhere, this came as a blow and devastating as I wondered what the future would hold. To cut a long, and boring story short; Shadow got moved even further away from home and there was nothing I could seem to do; except offer to buy him which I can't afford. So I thought we'd cope, evidently we've struggled and I've only seen him 3 times since the beginning of June and to put it nicely; it's pretty shit.
Whilst I thought summer was over and I was pretty much horseless, something came along and certainly picked up the pieces... her name is B, and she's a wonderful, skewbald mare, who's also a baby, at just 4 years old. I was at first skeptical and wasn't sure whether or not I'd go through with it, but she's now been moved to the yard next to home and we're getting to know one another, my biggest problem is me at the moment; I think I've got so many emotions running high at the moment that I fail to see the bigger picture and appreciate how wonderful she really is. I compare her to Shadow and sometimes think she knows these things and then have to put myself back in line and tell myself to take it slowly, this isn't something which I've found easy and had to rely on some help from my friends on the clicker forum to guide me and advise me.
So I suppose life is turning out and taking a different route to what I anticipated. It's scary to think that in just over a month, I'll be in sixth form (hopefully!) doing my A-levels, my GCSE results are out in a month and I'm scared for that too. I hope that I can pull it off; we'll see. I'm wanting to make the most out of this summer, I'm 16 in just over a weeks time and I hopefully can get myself a job and earn some money. I'm scared though at what the future will hold :)
Something I've been learning, is that life is the most peculiar journey and most unpredictable thing; no matter how hard we plan and try to foresee, it doesn't always happen; the more we make plans and the more we 'prepare' ourselves for the future, the more likely we are to get hurt when it doesn't go quite so well. I'm not suggesting we 'never make plans' but I think it's dangerous to follow a set plan and do whatever we can to pursue it; sometimes it can lead to unhappiness and countering our gut instinct. Something about B made me want to follow it through and see her, and I must admit I adore her; Shadow is the most wonderful pony in the world for me and nothing will change that, but I have a new challenge and a new path which I've been put onto, I want to see the optimism in this and enjoy every second, as we never know what may be around the corner, and will spend the rest of our lives regretting it.
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